Questions? +1 (202) 335-3939 Login
Trusted News Since 1995
A service for global professionals · Friday, March 29, 2024 · 699,700,577 Articles · 3+ Million Readers

First Book on Bullying for Orthodox Jewish Students

Bullies to Buddies: A Torah Guide to Turning Your Enemies into Friends

Izzy Kalman instructing Jewish girls on bullying

Izzy training Jewish girls in Israel

Izzy Kalman training Chabad Shluchim

Izzy Kalman conducting workshop at Chabad Kinnus Shluchim

Bullies to Buddies: A Torah Guide to Turning Your Enemies into Friends is a "kosher" guide for the Jewish religious population.

The stresses of bullying that Orthodox kids experience, on top of their heavy study load, can make them absolutely miserable and hate going to school.”
— Izzy Kalman
STATEN ISLAND, NY, USA, June 10, 2020 /EINPresswire.com/ -- Bullying is as prevalent in Jewish day schools and yeshivas as in the general school environment. While Orthodox Jews may pride themselves in having lower levels of serous physical violence than the general population, their children can be just as socially cruel in their own ways. Jewish kids engage in insults, one-upmanship, rumors, cyber-attacks, social exclusion and shoving/hitting just like any other kids. The stresses of bullying that Orthodox kids experience, on top of their heavy study load, can make them absolutely miserable and hate going to school. It can destroy their self-esteem and their ability to learn. And when children suffer, so do their parents. Just like their non-Jewish counterparts, bullied Jewish students desperately need help.

But there are two problems. One is the same problem facing schools everywhere: the popular bullying prevention advice, programs, and policies don't work very well. Research and plain experience have been revealing that they rarely result in more than a minor reduction in bullying and often lead to an increase. That is why bullying continues to be a called a growing epidemic despite two decades of societal warfare against it. Yet yeshivas and day schools have eagerly adopted the popular but ineffective approach to bullying because it seems deceptively consistent with the Torah values of combatting evil and promoting harmony. The schools discover that when they embark on a passionate campaign against bullying, instead of bullying disappearing, it becomes a more serious problem, dragging them into a quagmire of never-ending complaints from students and accusations of parents that the school is "doing nothing" to help their children. Growing numbers of parents are pulling their children out of Jewish schools for failing to stop their children from being bullied.

The second problem is that many Orthodox youth, especially charedim, or Ultra-Orthodox, refrain from using the texts and sources available to the general population.

Israel "Izzy" Chaim Kalman, a school psychologist with over four decades of experience and a world-renowned but contrarian expert on bullying, comes to the rescue on both counts.

Mr. Kalman is the world's leading critic of the popular approach to bullying. When the anti-bullying movement began two decades ago, in reaction to the Columbine massacre of 1999, he correctly predicted that it was bound to fail and to make the problem worse. He has written more than any professional on the problems with the field of bullying psychology. Many of his unique writings can be found in his Psychology Today blog, Resilience to Bullying. He has expounded in detail on how the universally accepted approach to bullying is contrary to both psychology and morality, including Torah morality, which is why it causes more harm than good. He has also developed what many professionals consider to be the most effective system for dealing with bullying, based on his training in psychotherapy, the discipline dedicated to helping people solve their problems, and his Jewish studies. Rather than trying to protect children from bullies, and treating bullies like criminals that need to be apprehended, investigated, judged and punished, he empowers kids with the wisdom for handling hostility on their own by responding like friends, without getting anyone in trouble. When they know how not to be victims, no one can bully them. Kalman's books, programs, seminars and trainees have been slowly-but-surely changing the way the world deals with bullying.

Kalman published his classic book for kids, Bullies to Buddies: How to Turn Your Enemies into Friends, in 2004. In recent years, he has become aware of the need of the Jewish Orthodox world for a source of its own that is true to Torah teachings. The son of Holocaust survivors, he was sent to yeshivas through high school and is well-acquainted with all facets of Jewish life and education. Fulfilling a long-time desire, he recently completed a new-and-improved version of his classic Bullies to Buddies book, with the adjusted subtitle, A Torah Guide for Turning Your Enemies into Friends. Adorned with humorous illustrations by his artist daughter Lola, it teaches kids in great detail how to use the wisdom of the Torah instruction, ve'ahavta le'reacha kamocha–love they fellow as thyself–to stop anyone from bullying them and to even turn them into friends. It relies heavily on the chassidic paradigm of the nefesh ha'behamis (animal soul) versus nefesh ha'Elokis (Godly soul) to explain human psychology and behavior. With profoundly simple explanations, and abundant real-life scenarios, the book shows how to use that knowledge to turn hostile situations into win/wins.

A Torah Guide for Turning Enemies into Friends teaches kids not only how to get along better with fellow students but also with their parents, siblings and teachers. Adults can also benefit from the book, helping them understand their own interpersonal difficulties and how to solve them. When used as a a social skills textbook, it will save the school the great amounts of time and effort that it futilely invests in dealing with a never-ending stream of social complaints of children, and turn it into a harmonious community where wisdom rules and parents will be happy to send their kids.

Kalman's book is available on Amazon.com for $20. Substantial discounts for bulk orders can be obtained by contacting info@bullies2buddies.com.
Requests for review copies by journalists and school administrators are welcome.

Israel Kalman
Bullies to Buddies, Inc.
+1 718-983-1333
email us here
Visit us on social media:
Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn

Powered by EIN Presswire


EIN Presswire does not exercise editorial control over third-party content provided, uploaded, published, or distributed by users of EIN Presswire. We are a distributor, not a publisher, of 3rd party content. Such content may contain the views, opinions, statements, offers, and other material of the respective users, suppliers, participants, or authors.

Submit your press release